Single Muslim Moms in the Middle East

Plan B and other things

2008-08-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I said I'd apply for a job immediately upon my return to Kuwait, but that plan hit a few snags. Anyways, we've been back a few days. The jet lag is having its merry way with us, me in particular, but tomorrow, inshallah, I'm going to get up nice and early and just try and kick the thing once and for all. So on to Plan B.

There's not much of a plan:

Accept non-contractual job at place I was working at this year
Tutor like mad
save, save, save
obtain own vehicle
work on my business.

Not necessarily in that order. But without a teaching contract, I will need to step up my business in order to get a visa from that.

You know, having told my dad that I plan to get a divorce this year kind of puts added pressure on me to get it done. It wouldn't be a tenth as scary or overwhelming if I knew hubby would willingly go down to the ministry of justice with and get it done, but I know he won't. I, however, am not going to take no for an answer. He is going down there with me whether he likes it or not. I'm just going to have to talk him into it. The alternative is just to much for me to think about.

Nervous

2008-08-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

We're going back to Kuwait in less than a week. I will try to...no I will apply for a job immediately upon my return, inshallah. I know I should say I'll be applying for a divorce at the same time, but I want the job before I do that. However, I will not make it a condition for the divorce. I've done that enough already. I'm just trying to take care of myself as best I can.

May Allah bless me with a good job, ameen.

The Plan

2008-07-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said I have an idea of how I want things to proceed during/after the divorce? Well, here it is in rough outline:

Apply for/obtain overseas teaching contract
obtain own living quarters
obtain own mode of transportation
make necessary adjustments to kid's social life (sleepovers, parties, etc.)
Save, save, save

Hopefully, next post will consist of Plan B, should this one fail.

A Talk

2008-07-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had a long discussion with my dad about my impending divorce. He is sympathetic and understanding to my views and my position. He mentioned something that gave me food for thought: Divorce has a life of its own. Oftentimes, things happen in a divorce that are both unexpected and unplanned by either party. It would behoove one to keep that in mind when getting divorced. Things don't always go according to plan. That was good for me to hear since I have a set idea on how I want my life to proceed once I am finally single. I have tried to plan for every contingency.

My dad and I discussed what would happen if hubby decided to keep our kid. My dad said he would support me in my preference to have her with me. I told him, though, that I would do everything in my power to make sure hubby doesn't feel like he has to threaten me that way. But if he did, I would take our kid and come to the States. And I would make his life more of a hell than it already is.

We discussed how scary the idea of divorce is. He told me how his divorce went down. We talked for a long time and it was a real comfort to get it all off my chest. It'd been weighing on me the entire visit. That and the fact that I can no longer tolerate hubby's presence.

Lata...

Furthermore...

2008-07-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Whoever sets up the SMM housing should also have a list of employers looking for immediate applicants. Said employers should be willing to hire or overlook current visa status for a time. In other words, people sympathetic enough to hire strapped, struggling women.

Hmm...

2008-07-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, this idea was just too good to leave until I'm single, by which time I would probably have forgotten it. But as far as SMM go, there should be housing for them, an apartment building or something, with a sliding scale for rent. Those who really couldn't afford to pay anything at all could volunteer as workers for daycare (set up by the building) for those kids of moms who have to work. There are a lot of ways they could earn their keep.

God, I should look into that when I get back home, inshallah...

Purpose

2008-07-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I've decided not to post on this blog until I'm actually single. That looks to be happening this summer, inshallah. Also, I've changed this blog's title to include the words Middle East, because there are a lot of SMM sites and blogs out there. I want mine to be a little different. Besides, I am in the Middle East.

Check back soon!

Assalaamu Alaikum!

2007-11-03T21:27:00.001-07:00

Well this here's the very first post on this brand new blog. The title pretty much gives away the target audience for it...but the purpose has yet to be established.

So here it is. There are lots of single Muslim moms (henceforth referred to as smm) out there. I feel they could use some support. I used to be an smm and will be again soon, so I figured I'd start a little blog about it. Eventually I hope to be able to provide real support instead of just encouragement, but more about that later. For now, thanks for stopping by and check back soon!